A refreshing starfruit juice mixed with orange,lime or lemon. chilled with a hint of mint is perfect for hot summer days.
Please scroll down to Recipe time to avoid thoughts and life in general of Mama to the terrible four.
A child, tween, teen and sometimes adult guide to Moms.
If you, missed Part 1 of this post, you can read it here.
Since we covered the first skill, the art of lying on the above linked post, let’s move on to the second,
The art of negotiating.
Mama tends to rule your world and it’s annoying, isn’t it?
She makes it difficult when you need consent for something you want to do, “it’s not fair!”, you scream.
Why does she have to ruin all the fun by refusing,
When you want to have a day out with your friends, when it’s an invitation to a party/sleep over or a movie, maybe you want an upgrade on your phone because all your friends are having new one’s?
Your list of wants and needs grow every year and you just don’t have enough skills to negotiate with your mom, all she does is make you wait then say”NO”, we feel your pain.
(Don’t forget she loves you)
However before we even move on to lessons, there’s something you should know and we are particularly addressing the under eighteens, simply put, in your language, you suck at it.
let’s take a look at how it usually goes down in these situations, what do you do first ?
You approach the parent who might go along with your idea first and then move on to the one who most probably say no but that’s ok you’ve already got one parent on your side, you assume the battle is half won.
Smart tactic, wrong move.
The difficult parent aka your mom spends more time with you and knows how your brain works, so if you are fibbing to go out or have your own way, she’ll know. It’s even worse when she gets dad on her side(all that hard work gone to waste).
(Never forget she loves you, you’re everything to her)
Some of you might spend the day waiting for a perfect moment where mom’s relaxed, you make an extra effort by being nice to her, cleaning up your room, getting along with the other siblings, maybe even help mom around the house, you are ultra kind and then when the time is right, you ask her and wait but there’s only silence, you try to convince her more. Still silence and then she blows you off with a firm and definite “NO”.
It hurts to be refused, so you do what you do best and where you say and do everything wrong.
“But why”,”it’s not fair”,”all my friends are going why can’t I”,” you don’t let me go anywhere”,” you always say no”,”all the other moms are ok about it”, on and on you go, sometimes your mom might retaliate or she might keep her silence refusing to be pulled into the drama but you continue by slamming doors, arguing with the other siblings, silent when spoken to, quite frankly you become a very nasty teenager to be around.
(loving you sometimes hurts but she still does, no regrets)
She’s the first person to teach you that you don’t always get what you want, she’ll probably make you work for every yes she gives you, just think she’s preparing you for the outside world and the first lesson is accepting a”no”gracefully, minus the tantrums. Imagine if you will of her as your first boss, you will hear a lot of”no’s”,”maybe”,”let me think about it” but never a straight forward yes.
She will be tough on you, while you think it’s mean, she’s teaching you the right and wrong way to live your life(as she knows). If not her then who?
Maybe this is too far in the future to think but just in an off-hand way, try to imagine yourself as an adult with kids(don’t try too hard but try)
What would you prefer to say,
“My mom, never let me do this and now I understand why and I’m going to tell you why”or”there wasn’t anyone around to teach us what was right or wrong so I don’t know if it’s ok or not, go ask xxx”, think on it for a few minutes.
And don’t forget through all that “no”s she puts out, you have your whole lifetime to do what you want when you want, your mom’s duty is to get you there safely without any mishaps, to an age where you understand and act responsibly, become less impulsive.(remember what we told you about her instincts)
So when she throws a “no” at you, accept it gracefully and be your usual self, we can’t guarantee you this, you might just get an o.k, if you show her you’re growing up but please don’t push your luck by asking her if it’s ok to go on night excursions with your friends, honestly if you’re under eighteen you have no business staying out late, in mathematical terms, let’s just say the probability of you ending up in trouble is very, very high.
Simply put the art of negotiating with your mom is to show by your actions that you are capable of looking after yourself and not impulsive, that no matter what happens around you, you will remain calm and make the right decisions.
Did we mention how much she loves even when you think she is there only to ruin your social life?
To be continued…
I’m doing a very easy juice today, the first time I had it was at my in-laws and I kind of went crazy, there are somethings I refuse to share and this is one of them, The kids were giving their evil stare when I poured half a glass for each of them and a full, brimming glass for myself.
A WORD OF WARNING– Star fruit is known for its health benefits, it’s a natural source of various vitamins and antioxidants. They are good for diabetes and pressure patients. I might also add as a precaution while reading about the fruit that they should be consumed in moderation by anyone who has kidney related problems, it seems we all need Oxalic acids found in almost all fruits and vegetables but not in high quantity which the Star fruit has.
I’m pairing this with green oranges, we find here in Srilanka, you can also use limes or lemons.
What you will need
4-5 Star fruits
4-5 green oranges, limes or lemon juice
2 cups of water
1/2 teaspoon of Pepper
Salt to taste
In a blender, pour in the squeezed Orange juice, Sugar and the Star fruit, Blitz it for a minute.
Add Pepper, blitz again for a few seconds. Using a wide sieve strain the juice, do a taste check to see if there is enough Sugar and Salt.
Chill and serve with a few sprigs of Mint leaves.