A Srilankan fish curry cooked in a rich, thick gravy made from Coconut milk infused with Tamarind juice.
The spices balance the natural flavors, making it perfect for lunch with Rice or a light dinner with bread.
Scroll down to Recipe time should you wish to avoid thoughts and life in general of Mama to the terrible four or you can read on..
Where have I been?
There’s a viral flu going around causing a Domino effect, taking down victims by mere contact. But the main reason I’ve been missing here is because funny man was in town and it’s always fun having him with us.
So hope I didn’t lose the few readers who drop by.
Hello!!!, is anyone out there?
Anyways, this is one post I kept putting off because I’m not sure how it will be received, don’t ask me why, maybe it isn’t funny enough or it opens up a wider door to our lives, but I’m just going to post it as it is, fear of the unknown can be paralyzing to the mind.
Now, will you scroll up and read the tagline underneath the Title, skip everything but the words,” lessons learned along the way”, that’s right, we all have them, who we are and what we become is a direct result of these lessons. I have my life lessons like you, some ugly, some embarrassing but mostly good, this one, I learned from a poem(it doesn’t always come from people)I’ve had it for ten years, it definitely has a spiritual side but I like the practical advice given and use it to remind myself(when possible)that kids are ours only for a short time and then they belong to themselves.
The words in the poem was for my eyes only, reminding me, not to spoon-feed certain thoughts and actions(mostly my fears of the unknown future)that might influence their adult life.
It’s tempting to just do a bit of nudging, here and there when I can, doctor their thoughts to suit my needs, I’m not proud of it but there you go(this confession does not apply to the rules we’ve placed at home to tame down the craziness that comes with having a few opinionated kids).
Now, my nudging and bribes involve food and the understanding that despite a few rules, they can always negotiate with us no matter how many times we say, “No”.
A poem, “On Children” by Khalil Gibran
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
I’ve learned loving the terrible four doesn’t mean I need to attach myself to them that the best thing I could do is always be there when they need me but also teach them how to do little things for themselves, gradually building their self-esteem and confidence.
And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts.
For they have their own thoughts.
And so far it’s working (I think)the terrible four are growing up with their own concept of what is right and wrong(they love to point out my mistakes, I’ll write about it someday when I feel comfortable revealing my flaws through the eyes of my kids).
They seem to have so much confidence in their capacity to look after themselves.
I’ve come to realize that although they give you the impression of not listening, don’t be fooled, they truly do, I thought the constant nattering about positive thinking was flying over their heads, the nodding and silence was just to satisfy me but that isn’t the case, they do listen, don’t ever doubt it, so go on with your encouraging words, they are listening but just in case, switch off all unnecessary distractions when you natter.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them but seek not to make them like you.
As a result of reading these words a few years back, we’ve been more open with them when it comes to life in general.
True, children should be children as long as possible but times have changed and they can’t grow up, ignorant of the world around them.
Presently, teaching them to look after themselves and each other is priority. Make no mistake there were a few grumblings and whining at the beginning but they were never forced but simply told”you’ll never know until you try”.
Please keep in mind I do this with the greatest responsibility and every thought to their safety.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;
We’ve started with a few things around home and family, mainly looking after their own needs by themselves and helping each other. Here are a few of the things to give you an example.
As you might be aware when kids are involved nothing is certain, there are days they refuse to do any of the below but that’s totally acceptable, after all, there’s always another day.
Once a month, he(14) does my Grocery shopping and I get her(15) to write it for me.He(14)also pays the utility bills for me, for now, he’s(10) learning to get over his reluctance approaching the paying counter alone but does it at the mention of Chocolate milk.
They(15,14,10)iron their own uniforms, when he(10) was too young to handle a hot iron the eldest took turns doing it(such a simple chore yet it teaches them grooming and a step towards doing thing on their own, so far the record is 1 on burns).
He(14)is in charge of making him(10) do his homework and other activities about work from school, on and off, they do argue but to see them working together makes my heart glad.
He(14)has his own toolbox and is allowed to take apart old phones, toys anything in the name of experimenting, he knows how to change a light bulb, patch up a hole in the wall and paint it(actually we both learned while painting the eldest’s room)but there’s one thing they are not allowed to touch and that is Superglue, never ever never.
Her(15)room, her laundry is her responsibility unless of course she’s bogged down with school work and exam prep.
They(15,14) have to make sure that the youngest are served and fed first before having their own meals, always.
No one rushes into the car, the youngest and the girls go first, always.
When I’m busy she’s(15) in charge of looking after her sister. aah…the screams that follow, music to my ears.
Though the end of the day lockdown is done by an adult, he(14)does a routine check to make sure all doors and windows are secure.
At least once a month I’m bombarded with questions about money, that’s three times a month, it varies from funny, inquisitive, information and sometimes with a mindset that money will solve all issues, so we talk about it openly, I’m no expert in economics but have always thought as parents we teach our kids to spend but not to manage it wisely and I’m not just talking about saving.
This one is a bit hard and I’m still struggling to show them that there needs to be a balance where finances are concerned.
I’m also trying to help them understand the concept of too expensive, not worth it, maybe in a few years.
Whenever possible we discourage the word can’t but encourage them to try, try and try. there’s usually an echo when I use this word.
They are constantly reminded to be aware of their surroundings, walk with their heads up, there is no shame in crying and talking when you’re sad, They are allowed to voice their opinion and encouraged to think positive and finally lots of hugs and love you’s is a must.
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.
If you do have time please read some of Khalil Gibran’s other works.
Before you begin, please make sure to read the complete recipe at least once.
what you will need
500g Thalapath(Marlin) or any type of fish with firm, chunky flesh would do
3-5 Tablespoons of oil
2-3 large onions
2 large Tomatoes
2-3 Garlic pods chopped
1 teaspoon Fenugreek seeds
A piece of Ginger grated
5-8 Curry leaves
Pandan leaf( rampe)
a piece of cinnamon
1 teaspoon chilli powder
2-3 teaspoon Curry powder
1/4 cup of tamarind juice
1 1/2 cup of Coconut milk
Cut the fish into the desired size, wash using a bit of Turmeric then sprinkle a half teaspoon of salt over it, mix and set aside.
Heat oil in a Pan and add Fenugreek seed followed by Tomatoes, Onions, Garlic, Ginger, Pandan leaf, Curry leaves, Curry Powder and Chilli Powder.
On low heat gently cook until all ingredients are soft and mixed well.
Once this is done, include the Tamarind juice and let it simmer until you end with a thick liquid.
Pour in the thick Coconut milk letting it simmer until you have a thick gravy. Add salt to taste, keep in mind, the gravy already has Tamarind so a pinch of it would do for now.
Gently add the fish and let it cook, make sure the gravy covers the fish, cook for 10 to 15 minutes on low fire. Do a taste check, add salt if necessary.
Other meat dishes you might enjoy, click on image for recipes.
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