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Finding Happy

 

Quote Source Pinterest. Author unknown.

I know I’m asking a question posed many a times but what does happiness truly mean to you ?

My idea of it seem to have gone through many changes over the years. Not long ago, expectations of being happy meant, a temporary excitement over something bought on impulse and then disappointed when it didn’t last.

So for a while, I went through a stage while feeling happy and content, expecting the worst to happen or keep telling myself “this isn’t going to last over and over again” until I believed it. Looking back it isn’t surprising my definition of happiness was a bit warped.I mean how can you enjoy the highs when you’ve already set yourself up for regrets?

Now, older maybe a bit wiser, I understand the feeling a little better because it is a feeling and it doesn’t last long because being happy is a state of mind and they come in tiny doses. What we choose to do with that tiny dose is up to us.

I freely admit to having bad days, who doesn’t ? if you don’t, well, I might just think you’re not human at all.

It’s hardly a crime to have a bad day but some of us make it a crime by choosing to just drag it as long as we can, we let it seep into our lives and then let it seep into our relationships, worst of all we drag our loved ones through it. Kids especially, remember, children are not born unhappy, we teach them.

Happiness is a moment, it’ll last hours or it may last a few minutes, be conscious of these moments, feed and reflect on them, you might wonder why I use the words consciously, feed and reflect.

Because these words apply when things out of our control bring us down, we feed, reflect and wallow in our misery consciously, why not do the same thing to happiness?

Before I go any further, you might be thinking, “this lady uses the “H” word too often, can’t she find other words to make her point, The reason I’m using the “H” word so often is because I’m trying to make a point here and my subject is Happiness.

A touch, a smile, a hug, a conversation with your love, a hug, a prank your son pulled on you, a message from your mom, a heart to heart chat with my daughter, time spent with a friend, a few hours of quiet time from all the chaos surrounding me, a simple act of kindness from a stranger can bring about that perfect dose of happiness for me.

For you, it can mean reading or watching an inspirational video on your Facebook page, a walk in the rain, a pillow fight with your kids, dancing, singing, running, yoga whatever brings you joy is happiness.

What I’ve realized is, it changes and evolves as we grow old, I’m sure another twenty years from now my idea of happiness would be spending time with my husband, seated in our garden while he and I have a cup of tea and watch our grand kids play.(I like to think I’ll live that long by the grace of almighty)

Finding contentment is hard enough but then it gets harder when we decide to let in insignificant people into our lives who crush our souls with their constant bad vibes of hate.

Call them toxic if you like, they might not be toxic to everyone, they are just toxic to you.

We all come across people who seem to dislike you at first sight, some of you even grow up with a person who hates you because of who you are and it often leaves confusion and a burning question.

Why ?

Often there is no reason, We all have this person meshed into our lives unaware of their hate, don’t keep denying it to yourself because that’s just going to put you in a bad place and give that person a chance to hurt you, time and time again.

But some part of you, call it instinct always knows, that unsettling vibe you get from a person is never wrong. Don’t give them the opportunity to bring you down emotionally, smile, move on, distance yourself and keep them away from your happy place.

And if the above quote just validated that you should wear a mask of happiness as an act of defiance or spite towards the one’s who dislike you, it’s time to stop.

Don’t fool yourself by thinking that bubble of temporary happiness you just displayed is not going to blow in your face, it will because of one fact, happiness is about you and you alone, once you realize it, everything else just falls into place because at some point things will always get better and to enjoy that moment you need to be conscious of what makes you happy.

Take a step towards seeing the best in everything and when you’ve reached a point where standing in front of a mirror brings a smile, it’s time to move on and find someone to pay it forward, teach a person to smile through their troubles because deeds like these always find their way back to you in a good way. 

You can live in the grandest home and still be unhappy because of the people around or live in the most humblest place and be happy because of the people around you.

I’m inviting you to leave your idea of what happiness means to you and what brings that feeling of contentment.

Much love and hoping you find your happy place.

Jehan

 

Sri lankan bonchi/green bean curry.
green bean curry(Sri Lankan bonchi curry).
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